Dog: Hey. Let me out. I gotta poop! Me: (**goes down and opens back door) Okay, out you go. Dog: (**not going outside) Hey, it’s dark out here. You need to come with me. Me: But it’s like 20 degrees out there!! Dog: BARK! Me: Okay. Okay. (**reluctantly goes outside with Dog even though totally barefoot and in my PJs) Dog: (**looks around) Did you hear something? Me: JUST POOP ALREADY! Dog: (**bounds playfully down the hill) I think there’s a new stick down at the bottom of the hill, I’m gonna go get it. Me: DAMNIT, just get back in the house! (**gets dog back inside and storms upstairs) ***30 seconds later*** Dog: Hey... I gotta go poop!